Listening to Ayahuasca by Rachel Harris Phd

Author:Rachel Harris, Phd
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New World Library

CHAPTER SEVEN

To Believe or Not to Believe

Psychedelic troubadour Terence McKenna said, “It is no great accomplishment to hear a voice in the head. The accomplishment is to make sure it’s telling you the truth.”1 McKenna focused on the central question — Is the information helpful, useful, and true in everyday life? I, on the other hand, continue to ask, “Who is this voice, and is Grandmother Ayahuasca real?” These are interesting philosophical questions, perhaps, but ultimately unknowable and impractical. McKenna’s question is the one to ask.

Philosophy professor Howard Wettstein came to the same conclusion as McKenna. “Is Grandmother Ayahuasca real?” is the question an agnostic asks, essentially, “Does God exist?” Instead, Wettstein suggested, “The real question is one’s relation to God, the role God plays in one’s life, the character of one’s spiritual life.”2 He echoed William James’s philosophical position, “God is real since He produces real effects.”3 As a therapist concerned with what’s helpful, I agree with James’s perspective, and that’s why my research study focused on what happens after the ceremony: How does ayahuasca change a person’s daily life and inner experience? What are the effects?

Personally, though, I continue to be caught in an ontological crisis, stuck with not being able to believe completely in the existence of plant teachers and spirits despite having heard Grandmother Ayahuasca’s voice and having followed her instructions. I’ve remained in this untenable position of not knowing what to believe for years, and I am not completely out of it.

I didn’t have any doubts when Grandmother Ayahuasca told me, Do the research. But when I described the findings years later to friends outside of ayahuasca circles, I encountered the worldview crisis that has tormented me longer than I like to admit. I told my friends, “About 75 percent of the people who used this psychedelic tea from the Amazon basin said they were in a personal relationship with the spirit of ayahuasca. They heard her voice, they received messages, felt her active support and guidance.”

I was met with a polite pause. My friends immediately translated my story into more acceptable territory. “You mean they heard an inner voice?”

“No,” I said, “I’ve heard her voice, too.” I said this as if my personal testimony would win them over. “She’s guided the research, given me sophisticated advice about design and data analysis.”

Even as my friends became truly speechless, I continued undaunted, “It’s not my higher self or my intuition. She’s a separate entity, a unique voice, totally different. I know my inner voices,” I said, asserting my psychological expertise. “This is not the same.”

My friends never asked me about the research again.

In Western culture, it’s fine to hear an intuitive, higher self speaking, but not so fine to hear a voice originating from an external, unseen source. The issue of whether a perception originates from our inner world or from the outer world of consensus reality is critical to both our worldview and our sense of sanity. Even psychiatrist Carl Jung was circumspect about his personal work conversing with spirit guides.

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